*Life and Such*

Life, the tender fragile piece of paper where every drip of ink from the Creator's pen determines what we go thru, the single stroke written could devastate or envalue some1's life, to borrow the masterpiece of sum1 else, Desperate For Changin, Starvin For Truth, I Am Closer To Where i Started I Am Chasin After U, this is ultimateli the life we humans seek and live out, from young till the end of life as we know it, we continue in our search for truth, for knowledge the very first step we take is the knowledge of of walking, this endless pursuit of dreams or what was predetermined by the morons of yesteryear makes ones life, but when does a man realli feel happi, sometimes i wonder if in the insane mind of mine am i normal? Am i like every1 i see out in the trees, the caring mum who dotes on her children, or the office goin gentleman suitcase between his legs as he stands in the train tryin to read the papers, or how about the carefree teenager frolicing with his chums, are they sane am i in delusions or simply in folie. Why do i ask myself this question?
When i feel rested and relaxed or even happy for a moment, i wait and wait for the defining moment that spoils the time for me, i feel more at home in pain or confusion than in joy and luffter, the momentary childishness i display i guess is tha onli element in me that makes me cheerful but the irony of havin to be happi in weird ways seems funny, well maybe i just am a riot,
I question alot, mostli inpromptu questions, sometimes sensible, sometimes downright stupid, but the question i been askin myself since i started rationalizing life, happiness is what do i want? in generalities they say what u want is wat u get, but do u realli know wat u want? preciseli the question i have been askin myself countless times over and over again, and each time i ask myself i spring forth a new reasonin, a new ambition , a new drive, but like sand collected at the bottom of the hourglass the various dreams, aspirations gather dust at the bottom, Sometimes i dream of being a lecturer, teachin sharin my views, making the learned ones question society and so forth, sometimes i dream of being a journalist, a person not mani people know but trust with their full hearts when we report something, sumtimes i dream i am a psychiatrist helping and understanding truli what the various patients want and what they realli need, the questions and aspirations are endless but what does the path named life has in store for me?
Sometimes only the struggle makes it worth it, only the pain makes it sweet, and only victory is the answer